


Who's your Daddy?

by knightinpinkunderwear



Category: Dexter (TV)
Genre: Canon Dialogue, Dialogue Heavy, Dirty Jokes, Established Relationship, Inappropriate Humor, Jokes, M/M, Not Canon Compliant, One Shot, Season/Series 02, Serial Killers, Sexual Humor, Silly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-22
Updated: 2020-07-22
Packaged: 2021-03-04 19:27:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 733
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25391617
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/knightinpinkunderwear/pseuds/knightinpinkunderwear
Summary: Season 2 one-shot where instead of dating Rita or Lila, Dexter is dating Vince MasukaAnother dialogue based fic.
Relationships: Dexter Morgan/Vince Masuka
Comments: 11
Kudos: 52





	Who's your Daddy?

**Author's Note:**

> Does anyone else ship this? Probably not.  
> Do I care? Not really.  
> They've got a cool friendship and fun chemistry so why not?

"Who's your Daddy?" Vince Masuka, boyfriend with the dirtiest of minds and internet histories, asks, closing the door to the lab behind him.

"...Harry Morgan...?" Dexter answers, only to realize that it might be one of those kinky sex questions or jokes that Vince liked to tease him with. (The kind that make Debra threaten the both of them for and swear loudly). 

"C'mon, no, The Lead Forensics Investigator on the joint Task Force, that's who," Vince says, patting the center of his chest twice, though it may have been more of a pointing type gesture. He leans back against the desk, facing opposite to Dexter. 

"Okay," Dexter nods along, trying to follow the logic. 

Vince waited, as if to see if Dexter had finally acquired the ability to read minds. (He hadn't).

"So, you want in on this bitch?" Vince asks, accepting that his boyfriend was not yet telepathic.

"What bitch?"

"The only bitch in town, baby, the Bay Harbor Butcher," a beat of silence, "I got you temporarily assigned," 

"Vince, you didn't have to do that," Dexter smiled, the smaller some teeth almost visible type of smile. 

"I did if I wanted to keep my position as the official bed warmer of the Dexter home,"

"Vince, I wouldn't bribe or blackmail you with sex," Dexter isn't sure if he should be insulted or flattered that Vince thinks he is capable and willing to do so. 

"It would work," Vince admits with a serious gaze and eyebrows raised. 

"You're giving me too much credit, I never would've thought of it," he may be good at manipulation but he has yet to understand how to use sex and seduction to his advantage. 

"Well, I got you some bone marrow collections for ID-ing the victims anyway becuase I'm an amazing boyfriend," 

"Of course you are," 

Vince gives him this look, like he's amazed that Dexter actually thinks that (he does). 

He clears his throat, trying to push past whatever what Dexter said made him feel; "It's nothing sexy but it'll get you in the tent, and you'll _love_ the tent, come on,"

Dexter stands and follows his much shorter boyfriend out of the lab towards the elevator.

"So, who's your Daddy?" Vince asks again as they walk through the precinct. Most are out on lunch or elsewhere doing their police business. 

"You are?" Dexter guesses, wondering if it was a sex kink thing. With Vince, it always could be. 

"No, c'mon, you gotta say it," Vince sounded disappointed. It was definitely a sex kink thing then. He really didn't understand why Vince thought he was going to start understanding sex references and innuendoes now. 

"Vince, I am not saying that in public," Dexter was fine with being the subject of various sex jokes said by his boyfriend but he was not about to actively participate in sex talk at work, where other people could hear. He wasn't sure how he felt about the Daddy thing and definitely didn't want to figure that out while exposed to an audience of the public, even if almost no one was there. 

"So you will in private?" Vince quips, his smirk evident in his tone and a laugh building in his throat. Dexter almost rolls his eyes (fondly, of course), not responding, Vince will find out soon enough, he doesn't have to say anything yet. 

"I don't wanna know what this is about, do I?" Deb asks, sitting at her desk with lukewarm coffee and a look of mild disdain for them. Her day was probably going mildly pear shaped. 

Vince presses the down elevator button. 

"Not unless you wanna hear about your brother totally having a Daddy kink," the hypochondriac responds, turning to lean against the wall and give some suggestive looks. Dexter turns sideways, facing both his sister and his perverted boyfriend. Deb scowls.

"Thanks for that image Masuka, I'm going to pour boiling water in my eyes now," Deb responded in deadpan the way she normally dealt with sex jokes about her brother. 

The elevator arrives with a _ding_. And the two men enter, pressing the 1 for the main floor. 

He does love the tent. (Despite the discomfort of seeing _his_ victims in the light again, they were supposed to stay in the dark depth of the ocean).

And Dexter is grateful for the excuse that Vince made up to let him see it. 

**Author's Note:**

> Well, if you really did read and finish this, I hope you liked it.


End file.
